I find myself looking back 4 years ago and time before. The hurt and heartache seems to never go away but dulls the senses and and the Zeal for life. I will never know why things happen like this or even at all, but parents all around the world experience this daily. My Grandparents Lost three children before there time, and my parents lost two. I couldn't say before that I know or even that I can imagine how they feel, I CAN NOW. I wish that I couldn't say that, I also wish that there was a way to that Nobody would feel this way. I remember standing by Scott's casket feeling that I had lived a full life , he was full of life it should have been me and not him. I would have done anything to have him back, If selling my soul would have done it, then so be it. Nothing can bring him back. We can't go back in time and change things or it would be done. So the memories that I have, I will keep with me always, that special spot in my heart belongs to Scotty, I thought it was gone and cut out, it felt so empty, but no it was just the place in my heart that belonged to Scott. With Scotty gone he will always be in my heart. Please take the time, share your life with your loved ones, you will never regret it. I know I will never forget the times we had together. Scotty wasn't just a son to me but a best friend.
Remembering Scotty with a Dads Love,
Always
Our Cross to bear / Larry, Scotty's DAD Three Years have passed since this God awful tragedy. this horrible event that Changed our lives and turned our world upside down. I can now talk about Scotty without falling apart and going into tears, that is on the outside. On the inside of my heart I cry daily, these are tears that nobody sees. I really miss this young fellow, my friend and buddy. More so than anyone can see or know. In my heart he will always be my Son and friend. I will never understand why God allows these things to happen, but trying to figure these things out can make a person lose their sanity. This leaves such a void and emptiness at our home and in our lives that can never be filled. Even though now he would be in college and out preparing for a new life in the world, we still miss Scotty and Love him so much. The thing that we can always hold on to are those great memories we shared and the hope of one day seeing him again in the hereafter. Even though our bodies can't always last and live on, our hearts, souls and love for each other is eternal. The memory of that day Feb. 22,2005 was marked on the side of the road with a cross that the folks at the School had placed for us. This Cross was appreciated as a extremely nice gesture and support from the High School and Community. Every time we left our home to go to work, church, store, or anywhere we saw the cross. In talking with my wife and family it was decided that I should remove the cross. At first I felt bad for taking it away, but the cross did not symbolize or stand for Scott's life but it reminded us of a horrible day and what happened at this location. When I saw the Cross there I could visualize Scotty laying there lifeless in the Damp grass and us experiencing the hopeless and lost feelings all over again and again. Now with the cross not there, yes we still remember, but at least it isn't like being hit with a strong reminder. Have we recovered? NO, we will never recover, we have made adjustments and learned to deal with the life and situation we have been handed. I continue working in a manor that would Make Scotty proud of me. That means a lot to me to think or know that Scott would be Proud of the work and the things that I do. I always did put a lot of stock in his thoughts and opinions. Love you Scotty, always , Dad
THINKING OF YOU AND YOUR FAMILY / BRIDGET DTR OF ALLAN R. PEACOCK (UNITED BY ANGELS )
3 years / Chris (Junior) Ashworth (Bestfriend) Wow its really hard to believe you've been gone 3 years man it really doesn't seem real but so much has really changed. I still think back on the first time i ever meet you that day in the elementry office that day alone changed my life forever. I still hold onto every mintue we shared through those great years that felt like i always known you. I laugh at the joke that backfired with your mom that time when you answered the phone in the junior high office and how you get me so mad by calling me metermaid chris. I miss you alot scott i'm in college working part time possibley getting close to getting married yeah go figure lol but i'm still missing having you around to see all of this happen i want have you at my college grauation or the day i grauate the police academy or the day i get married but i know you here i think of the lonly days i have the times i think im alone: i think of you and i know you're always with me because of the things you thought me about this life and how much you loved it and the people you came in contact with and to be around you was the best thing that ever could of ever happened to me and for that you always be my bestfriend. Feb 22nd 05 also changed me life forever but it isn't the end i see you again someday i know but for now i look at the pictures, the memories and know that i made a friend that became my brother that i said goodbye to here but i will see at those gates.
Miss you always
Love
chris(Junior)
Someone Who Cares / Carolyn, Grandmother To Angel Nico Stage You have a beautiful way of expressing your feelings. I can't express my feelings that way, but I feel the same way. I want to talk about my Nico. I need to. I loved him with all my heart. It is the hardest thing a person can face. I thought for sure I would die before him. It's still hard to believe. I look for him all the time, only he's not there. I, too, have searched about the afterlife. I hope and pray they are up in heaven together. My heart longs to see him again, as I know yours longs to see Scott again. There are so many of us out there and my heart breaks for us. I cried when I read about Scott. Know that I care.
Happy Birthday!!! / Margaret Daughter Of ^i^ Nellie Buonpane
Happy Birthday Scott! / Carol Pizzi (Angel Debbie's Mom )
God Bless you Scotty, and your loving family / Jane Eisele (forum friend )
Hello Larry,
I remember your precious Scotty so clearly. We exchanged emails a few times during those first few months when the horror of my own loss was so totally overwhelming to me. You gave me strength and I appreciated it so very much.
My son was a Scott also. During all of his growing up years we called him "Scotty". He is the youngest of my three children.... and when I lost him, my heart went into the ground with him. It's now almost ten months and truthfully, the pain has not lessened a bit. It lives with me daily. The heartache has become a permanent part of my life. The horror isn't there every day, but the pain has settled in for a long stay now and I've realized that the loss will be with me the rest of my life.
A song that was really popular when my son was small was "Watching Scotty Grow" and I've heard it several times since but had to shut it off immediately. It's as if someone is peeling the skin off my body, I feel so raw and wounded.
Your Scotty has become precious to me I can relate so clearly to your loss and your pain. Your dear wife's writing that she cries when she writes to him, I do the same when I write to my son. But I light a candle each morning and evening and I write a tribute to him each morning and evening. It makes me feel as if I'm "talking" to him. I believe his spirit is still with us. There are signs that are so clearly from him that it uplifts my spirit. The only thing I've been able to do to ease my heart is to give him up to God. I know that he's in heaven and I know your son is also.
This loss is not reasonable, there is no guide book to tell us how to survive it, no list of instructions, or rules.......... so we sort of stumble through life, waiting for the end to come so we can be with our beloved child.
I've looked at the pictures of your "Scotty" and wept freely at the loss of such a wonderful young man, the loss of so many hopes, dreams and plans. The loss of that daily contact, the friendship, the protective feeling we still carry with us for that child, but what can we do with it?
I'm so very, very sorry. From the bottom of my heart, I truly feel your pain, your loss in every word you write to your son. It matches the pain I feel. Your wife's heartache when she writes a tribute, I recognize her suffering because I have that same feeling. Every night when I write my goodnight tribute to my own Scott, every single night, my tears flow freely until sobs overtake me.
I don't know how to live with this loss, I'm not sure I can, I'm simply taking each day at a time and trying. The pain is never out of my mind and the heartache has become part of who I am now.
I send so much compassion to your and your wife, so much empathy and understanding for you loss and your pain. I truly can say, I understand.
I will add your precious son to my prayers and also you and your wife. May God send comfort to you.
Jane
Mom of Nico Stage / Laura Stage My heart goes out to you, or at least whats left of it. I know & feel the pain your going through. I put my 14 yr. old son to bed on a Thurs. night, we was laughing and joking around, then Fri. morning I went in his room to check on him & he was dead. It felt like my world just stopped. The image of him laying there haunts me everyday & night. May God Bless You and your family.
Nico's Grandmother / Carolyn I am so touched by your story. I am so sorry. I know the pain you feel. There are no words that I can offer to ease your pain. I feel that same pain on losing my grandson. The only one that can help us through this time is God. I am going through the same feelings of anger, frustration, etc. Thank you for the words of comfort. May God Bless.
What would have been....... / Larry, (Scott's Dad ) Scotty, So much has changed as I know what would have been that now cannot be. I wanted so much to take your Senior Pictures but now, I work with pictures I have of you to make ready your yearbook page. You would be graduating in a few weeks from High School, I know there would have been so much you would have experienced and learned in this time, yet I know now that you have moved on and learned so much more than the rest of us. What you know now, we won't really know till we see you again. As a Dad I still feel the need to protect you and look after you,and the only way I know how is to pray to God for him to take care of you. There is so much that is unfinished,like your trip to Canada and the life you wanted after college with getting married and the 12 kids you wanted to have and raise( you would have made such a great Daddy) There are so many people in this world that didn't get to meet you, and that is such a shame because they will never know what a great son, friend and person you were to know Scotty, Love Always, DAD.
Happy St. Patricks Day Scotty and family! / Dawn, Stepmom Of Alexis Farmer (connected by angels )
Thinking of Scotty and Family Today / Dianne/Mom Of Angel Nicholas White
My heart goes out to all of you today as you reflect on another day without Scotty here physically in your lives. May you always be blessed by his signs or presence to let you know that time and distance may separate you but not your love.
Hugs, Dianne
Remembering Scott / Carol Pizzi (Angel Debbie's Mom )
I'll always love you. / Janet (Moma) Guynes (Mother) Scott, today marks the day 2 years ago that you were taken from our lives. It was foggy again today and yesterday, but not as foggy as the morning you were taken from us. I miss you so much and love you so much. I made it through half of the morning without crying but then Larry called to see how I was doing and he began to cry and I just couldn't keep it together anymore. My life will never be the same without you. The longing to hug you and kiss you is so great. I guess I'm starting to realize that you really are not coming back to us and it isn't just a bad dream. We will have to go to you to see you again. I wish you would visit me in my dreams so I could hug you and kiss you and talk to you again. I will always love you so very much. Love you, Moma
Two years have dragged along for what seems like an eternity, but i am told that in Heaven eternity for us is just a moment there. My thoughts have gone in so many directions and I have gone through so many emotions in this time. The picture in my mind of Scotty laying on that damp ground never goes away and I try to remember the smiles, yes those enlightening smiles he carried that were so contagious. Sometimes he would ride down the road with me, deep in thought, I could tell he was thinking of something, maybe a homework problem or something funny to say, I would lookover at this boy and say something like ," I see a smile, yep your about to smile real big" he of course would deny it, and say " No I'm not" he would turn his face away the opposite direction, I would see his smile in the reflection of the window, and say"yep , I knew it, there's that Smile!" He would face me and there was that great smile, that smile would lift me up and make me feel like I accomplished something, I did some good for the day. I so miss those smiles, as I think about them, tears come to my eyes, and I guess it is the selfish side of me, that knows I won't get to see those smiles for some time now. I know he is happy where he is now, and the Lord gets to see his happiness and enjoy his love and joy. Maybe I should say "Thank You Lord for letting us have him here for even that short time, because Scott was a true joy to know and he touched so many lives here. I pray the Lord wraps his arms around him, protects him, and keeps him in his loving warmth through eternity. Learning to live without this young man is so difficult, that no amount of words can even begin to say. I know that I say this not only from just my Heart but from his Mom, Grandmothers, Aunts , Uncles, Brothers,Sisters, and many friends, Scotty I love you buddy, I always will, I am very proud of you and always have been, you brought sunshine in our lives and much joy to our hearts. You are always remembered and loved. Someday, I don't know when , but someday we will see you again, When that happens I will know you, when I see you by that Smile you always had to cheer me up with, I think then I will be able to smile myself again.
Love ALWAYS, Your Dad.
Thinking Of You / Joyce Sullivan I tryed to lite a candle for Scotty but it would'nt go through.So here I am to let you know I'm thinking of Scotty and his family on this day.My prayers are with you and my Hugs are on their way.
Scotty, do me a favor and hold my lil SammyJo's hand for me.
God Bless You All, Joyce ~ Angel Samantha's(Sam) Mom
I try and get through this the best i can. As time goes no matter what feb 22nd always stands out in my mind it was a day in 2005 my sophmore year in high school that changed my life forever. It was that day of i lost my best friend, brother, and all around adviser scott smith. I sit here thinking back just not to the day he was killed but the times before his death the last thing i ever said to scott the times in in 4th grade when scott was first checking into the school i was a common outgoing 4th grader i spoke up and said you just meet a 4th grader. Out of any word i think that ever came out of my mouth in the 18 years i been alive that has been the best thing i ever said. I built a friendship with scott that holds in my heart forever nothing can ever replace that there diffently no one like scott smith i ever meet. I have one brother who left when i was young scott took the place of the brother i never got to have to grow up with. now 2 years since 2005 things have changed in some ways im getting ready for college in 2 months i graduate high school, i been through several relationships with girls were of course are top topic between me and scott. if you were to ask me the things i miss i simply go back to the song by a county singer "I miss my friend" there a empty spot in my life that void and will never be able to be filled. I think back and try and picture what life would be like with scott still here only thing is i can only dream of this because that will never happen but yet i know i haven't not seen the last of my blonde headed friend i know that i will again see him but until that day i will always miss love and think of scott a smith. as i type this i think there more tears on my keyboard than my eyes i know scott would say don't cry i never shared that i had a dream shortly after scott left us and in this dream scott spoke to me and the words that mean the most from this is that im always with you in someway and i always watch over you buddy. I think more than once he has and i think i have took alot of thing things i learned from scott into my life over the last 2 years. As i reflect on 2 years its hard to believe that much time has gone by but the lost in my life is still as real as the day it happened. I miss you buddy
Tributes and Condolences
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